Sickipedia

My wife said to me, "Thirty years ago I wanted to marry a man with the work-ethic of a German, the intelligence of a Chinese man, the suave tan of an Arab, and the huge cock of an African.".... "Unfortunately for me," she continued, "You have the pale-pasty skin of a German, work ethic of an Arab, the intelligence of an African, and the tiny cock of a Chinese."

This guy named Mihai said to me, "I didn't know you spoke Romanian ?" "I don't, I was just clearing my throat."

Illegal migrants have been warned not to come to Britain anymore as the streets are, "no longer safe." Apparently, if they come, they risk being raped, murdered or robbed by the illegal migrants that have already arrived.

A bloke stopped me and the wife for directions in London, assuming we were locals. I can't understand why, we're both white.

I've often been accused of being racist. Well, I'm not. Years ago as an idealistic youth, I decided to heed the wise words of Martin Luther King, and judge people not by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character. And that, in a nutshell, is why I don't like anyone.

It's a misconception that as we get older we become more racist. We just become more honest.

Analysts say Nigel Farage's new immigration plan will focus on deporting violent criminals. So this could impact your fantasy football team....

Car crashes into crowd in LA. Oh no, I hope no white people were injured.

I went to Meadowhall on Saturday when it was 33c in Sheffield. Lovely and cool inside all the shops, but bloody hell when the doors opened to go back outside it was the same as when you get off the plane abroad, there were foreigners everywhere.

MasterChef presenter John Torode says allegation he used racist language upheld in report, but has denied any wrongdoing "I've never called anyone a nigger or a paki" , he told reporters