Sickipedia

Did you hear about the suicidal Irishman ? ..... he just couldn’t take any more and finally he plucked up the courage to shoot someone.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None!

Paddy, Murphy and Mick are walking down the street absolutely skint and wondering where their next few quid is gonna come from... when they see a sign on a door that says "Spend just 10 minutes in this room with one million flies and get paid £500"...One person at a time... So all 3 decide to have a go and its Mick that goes in first, he comes out after 2 minutes "Fuck that" he says.... Then Murphy goes in and comes out after 5 minutes "That's the worst feckin thing I've ever done, no cunt will do that" says Murphy... Then Paddy goes in, spends the whole ten minutes in the room "No feckin sweat boys"... Mick and Murphy can't believe it "Paddy how'd you do that?" they said.. Paddy replies "Simple! I just shit in one corner and sat in the other!"

Another culinary delight from The Gerry Adams Recipe book: Starter: Shergar fois gras with Soda bread Main: Stakeknife and McGuinness pie served with Maize and spuds Dessert: Jerries Bloody Sundae served with Jelly nite. Drinks: Wash down with Maggie Thatchers Cider.

I was wondering why the Arabs have all the oil and the Irish have all the potatoes. Then I realised, the Irish had first choice.

I don't think Ireland has yet grasped the concept of electric cars. Their garages have electricity priced up at £5.00 per gallon.

Hi Markrees The greatest man on earth Hope you are well my ol china. If you say Oil, Beef, Hooked you will sound just like a right proper Irish twat saying Ill be fucked..Amazing or what.

Claims galore

Mick and Paddy sat on the floor. Paddy fell off.

An Englishman a Scotsman and an Irishman are walking through the desert. It’s hot and dry as you might expect. They come across a Genie in a bottle. “You all can have one wish each”. Grants the Genie. “Could I have enough water to get me across this desert”? Asks the Englishman. The Genie grants his wish with a never ending supply of water in his canteen. “Could I have enough food to last me through this desert”? Asked the Scotsman. Again the Genie grants his wish with a never ending supply of food in his bag. “I’ll have a car door”. Announced the Irishman. The other two men astonished ask “Why would you choose something like a car door in the desert?” “Well when it gets too hot I’ll roll down the window”. Replied the Irishman.