Sickipedia

Bournemouth sponsored by BJ88 Wayne Rooney's favourite

Just accidentally caught the women's rugby and saw the NZ Haka. Looked like a synchronised 'and what time do you call this' greeting....

I shagged a girl last night and told me that reminded her Usain Bolt. I said why because I'm athletic strong and fit and she said no it's because you finish in 9 seconds Nod to Chubby Brown

I was in work today when a woman walked in with her tits hanging out! Me and my mates were shouting, "Wahay! Check out the knockers on that!" I don't think we're cut out for work in the mammography department.

My wife slapped me when I tried to put a torch inside her anus. So much for her enjoying light BDSM

I can’t be the only woman who has a fantasy about sitting on Postman Pat’s face.

I'm an airline pilot who suffers from premature ejaculation...I work for Easy Jut

I like my coffee like I like my women. Lukewarm, lipstick around the rim and just when you're enjoying it you find a discarded cigarette butt.

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says: "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies: "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

My 15-year-old daughter just asked me if her boyfriend can sleep over tonight. "CAN HE FUCK!" I replied. She said, "Yes, really well."