Sickipedia

Rapper T.I. (no me neither) has admitted that he takes his teenage daughter to a gynaecologist every year to examine her hymen to confirm she is still a virgin. Too bad she hasn't got a hymen on her tonsils or her arsehole!

My daughter's are both over 20, neither of them do drugs, they only drink in moderation, and I can honestly say I've never heard a single swear word spoken from either of them. Boring cunts.

I heard Facebook had published a list of 71 genders but when I looked there were only 70. Someone's hidden a gender, if you ask me.

My son's school rang me today. They said, "Your son was caught fingering a 5 year-old girl behind the classroom today. I'm afraid the police are involved now." "Filthy bastards," I replied.

It's only premature ejaculation for her, I'm fine with it.

I'm not sure if you knew this, but if you rearrange the letters in LGBT... You'll probably offend someone.

My English teacher said " Your grammar is shit." I replied " Your grandad is a cunt."

I sexually identify as a microwave meal. I come ready in three minutes and look fuck-all like the picture.

As the young barista gave me my change, I said... "Thank you young man." He snapped back.."Did you just assume my gender? I'll have you know I've just recently transitioned." "I'm sorry."I Said" I had no idea. In that case..Thank you, young attention seeking cunt."

As I sat down in a restaurant, I lit my cigarette. A waitress walked up to me, rolled her eyes and said, "You're smoking!" "Thanks," I smirked. "You're not so bad yourself."