Sickipedia

The Japanese have sent their usual contingent of entries for the Prix De L'Arc De Triomphe, to try and answer that intriguing question: Why try to win a race you can't fucking pronounce?.

The shit I just had was both the best and the weirdest one of my life so far. It started as soon as I entered the cubicle, with my toilet saying "Ohayo gozaimas."

Terry Aki Went to school with him. Nice kid, but was sexually abused Always under a jap's eye

"My granddad flew 87 missions during world war two. " "You must be so proud of him. " "No, not really. He was a kamikaze pilot. "

Just before my grandmother died, she sobbed about being raped as in 1942 she was a nurse in Malaysia. "Those little Japs' cocks were so fucking tiny I didn't even get off !" she sobbed.

Marcus Arduini Monzo is charged with the murder of 14-year-old Daniel Anjorin in Hainault. Will he be made to commit seppuku?

My Japanese girlfriend has committed suicide. Her suicide note read: I thought you loved me. How intolerable that she was my sister.

To deter potential suicides, the Japanese have installed mirrors along the tracks in all of Tokyo's train stations. They believe seeing your own reflection will discourage people from jumping in front of a train. How the fuck will they know it's their own reflection?

I was in court over having worn a samurai sword in a public place. My defence (if you can call it that) was a notably poetic one: Turning Japanese I think I am turning it I really think so.

I'm on holiday at a Japanese ski resort. I've never been anywhere nippier.