Sickipedia

I was in an important meeting when my secretary came in to tell me I had a phone call. "Is it urgent Tina?" I asked. "No, it's from Huddersfield." She replied.

You fucking pathetic piece of shit Hannah, why don't you fucking die so we can write some jokes about you.

My blonde daughter fell in love with a brickie just to get laid

A blonde was at a gumball machine. She kept putting quarters in and getting gumballs out. The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball. She said, "Shut up! I'm winning."

My blonde girlfriend was having collagen implants today to make her lips bigger, but when she came back I didn't notice any difference. Then I looked between her legs and saw a fucking moose knuckle.

A blonde woman goes to the hospital. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor. "Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina." The Doctor had a look, chuckled, and said, "Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're the stickers off the bananas."

Missguided shoppers will not get refunds for returns. I guess you could say their purchases were erroneous, fallacious, unwarranted, unfounded, unsound, misplaced, misconceived, ill-advised, inadvisable, ill-considered, ill-judged, inappropriate, unwise, injudicious, imprudent, rash, foolish, misinformed, misled, misdirected, wrong, mistaken or deluded.

I casually said to my blonde wife,” I like the painter Cezanne.” “Sez who?” She replied. “Cezanne,” I said. “How do you know Anne?” she asked. “I don’t know anyone called Anne.” I said. “Then how do know she likes the painter?” “Cezanne is the name of the painter.” “Thought you didn’t know anyone called Anne? ....” “Egads! ... I’m off to the pub!” “To meet that Anne floozie, no doubt!” SLAM!!!

A blonde was swerving all over the road so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?" The blonde said, "I'm sorry, sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me, and I can't seem to get away from it!" The cop told her, "Lady, that's your air freshener."

The Sound of Music now coming with trigger warnings.... "A healthy prosperous white family with many kids all singing and dancing and having fun.... of course we can't have people seeing THAT !"