Sickipedia

My new busty attractive neighbour popped over earlier & said she wanted to dance drink & have passionate sex & wandered if I was free tonight. I replied definitely & she said brilliant, because my dog needs looking after.

I've been so down lately , completely misunderstood, blamed and just genuinely fed up.. It become so bad I'm genuinely thinking about ending my life .... Shit !! Sorry didn't mean life , I meant wife

Absolutely fucked off with my bird screeching at me all of the time, are relationship is on the rocks.. She can eat her trill, take her swing , cage and fuck off.

"I'm tired of people telling me what I should do," I said to my wife. "I'm just going to tell them to fuck off." "You should try be nicer and see things from their point of view," she replied. "Fuck off," I said.

A computer that generates sexist jokes has been developed by scientists at Edinburgh University. It was doing quite well, until they let some bird have a go and she crashed it.

My marriage to the missus resembles a rose ... She the rose and I'm the prick

How come we always lose our phone when it's on silent..!??? But we never lose the missus when she is ...

Being terrored by a wasp in the garden all afternoon. . My wife asked.... "Isn't that driving you mad!?" Nah it's buzzing, I replied!.

My wife has stood by me for the last 20 years. . Probably about time I let that lazy bitch sit down for a change.

Transwomen have been ban from playing football. But maybe they should’ve let them keep playing but only as goal keepers. Would drastically improve having to watch that shite. Watching female goalies is like watching a woman try to parallel park!