Sickipedia

If god hadn't intended us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.

I've always felt that nobody likes me, so I've decided to give all you cunts a reason. I've gone vegan and bought a bicycle.

There was a Vegan from Peru Who loved listening to U2 I don't care for his rhymes That only have 2 lines But I do wish for his kids to turn blue

"Now, Madam, can you describe the man who stole your handbag?" "Oh, it all happened so fast! He pushed me over from behind, I didn't see him at all. One thing though; he was a vegan." "How do you know that?" "He fucking told me as he was running off."

Fuck me my farts are fucking stinking

I was at the grocery store and saw this large girl looking at the cucumbers and picking out the biggest one. I went over to her and said, "Having a spot of fun later ?" "Of course" she said with a cheeky wink, "How did you know ?" "You're so fat that I know that vegetable certainly isn't going in your sandwich."

The coppers have just knocked at my door to kick off because I was burning bushes and grass clippings in my garden.. I told them to fuck off , I said I was having a vegetarian barbecue.

Quorn is basically a dildo. A meat substitute for pussies.

I knocked a proud to be vegan cyclist off his bike today after he went through a red light. I've had to bill him for damage to my car, the police and ambulance services attended but I've been assured by the paramedic despite the cyclist having broken bones and may not ride a bike again I will eventually stop laughing.

I honestly have a bit of concern that my uber-thin vegan niece is going to die soon. She's started making these rather weak calls for "Vegetable rights"