Sickipedia

Dogsbody14 and his sad little alias squad crawl out of the basement every single time someone drops a joke (even if it's an ancient repost). Zero original content, zero posts of their own - just pure venom. This account literally exists to shit on everyone else's fun while racing to be the first to hump every obvious spam bot's leg like it's family. Not a critic. Not funny. Just the unpaid janitor of Sickipedia, desperately mopping up other people's engagement because his own timeline is drier than a nun's knickers. Probably the one running half the spam himself so he can feel relevant for 0.3 seconds before getting ratio'd into the void. Touch grass? Nah - this thing's never even seen sunlight. Keep barking, little doggy. The adults are posting.

What's the only animal with a cunt in the middle of its back? A police horse!

Sick astronaut lands safely back on Earth , and put directly on the 4 month waiting list.

A brand-new teacher noticed that the kids kept teasing one boy, calling him “Mikey the Moron.” During recess, the teacher asked why. One of the boys said, “Because he is a moron! Watch this…” He held out a large 50-cent coin and a smaller one-dollar coin. Mikey looked at both and—just like the kids expected—took the 50-cent piece. Later, the teacher pulled Mikey aside and gently said, “Mikey, the 50-cent coin may be bigger, but the one-dollar coin is worth more. You understand that, right?” Mikey sighed and replied, “Of course I understand that, sir.” “Then why do you always choose the 50-cent coin?” the teacher asked. Mikey grinned and said, “Because the day I take the dollar… is the day they stop giving me money.”

A woman is getting on a bus with her child when, as she passes the driver, he says, “Oh my God, what a hideously ugly baby!” Horrified, the woman runs to the back of the bus in tears and takes a seat. The man sitting next to her asks, “Are you okay?” She tells him what happened, and the man says, “You should march right up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind. I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Freddie Mercury's 'secret' daughter dies aged 48 following long battle with spinal cancer. Is that another word for 'AIDS'?

A fireman was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby. She was riding a little red pedal car with tiny ladders hanging off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a fireman’s helmet. The pedal car was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The fireman walked over to take a closer look. “That’s a nice fire engine,” he said admiringly. “Thank you,” the girl replied. The fireman looked a little closer and noticed that the girl had tied the pedal car to her dog’s collar—and to the cat’s testicles. “Little girl,” the fireman said, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your apparatus, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.” The little girl thought for a moment, then replied: “You’re probably right… but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”

Firefighters rush to a major incident at a Wolverhampton factory as 'explosions' are heard, and toxic smoke is visible for miles. One firefighter stated Wolverhampton had never smelt so good.

Paddy & Mick walking down the road, and Paddy's got a bag of doughnuts in his hand. Paddy says to Mick "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, You can have them both"

An autistic Barbie doll has been released by Mattel, featuring gaze-avoiding eye contact, a fidget spinner, and noise-cancelling headphones. And an AK-47, for when she goes off the rails.