Sickipedia

Bonnie Blue is working with Walkers Crisps on a new flavour .. help them name the flavour?

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My sister held one of those 'gender reveal' parties when she was pregnant. She popped the balloons, and the glitter was pink. In hindsight she should've gone with blue, as her daughter was stillborn.

My mate had a Monkees song played at his funeral. Now I'm a bereaver Plenty of room on top of the bandwagon

A pensioner died eating paint, thinking it was yoghurt. Thoughts are with his family during this emulsional time.

My wife's a florist but her business isn't doing well. So I ran a five year old kid over outside her shop.

Addict who blew £1.5 million gambling on Betfair sues company to get his money back. I hope he wins his case. He'll be able to make some awesome bets on Paddy Power for a few weeks.

"Boy, it sure is hot here." -- Charlie Kirk

I asked my wife in the car on the way to Tesco whether she'd remembered her Bag For Life, and she just glared at me. She's so easy to wind up since the colostomy.

What a day I've had! I've talked a Muslim into eating pork I've got three yanks into cricket I borrowed a fiver off a Jew I've persuaded a Hindu to eat a steak I made Prince Andrew talk to the FBI I've not convinced Gemma Collins to go on a diet