Sickipedia

I wouldn't say I was a coward, but I deserted from the Salvation Army.

Yom Kippur Sounds like a black country fish and chip shop

Mistletoe and farts

Wouldn't it be ironic when Joni Mitchell dies and she gets to heaven. She is hugely disappointed to find out it's one big giant car park ?

Trump: "Foreign forces are trying to control us". Citizens: "Who"? Trump: "That's a very anti-Semitic question".

Autism is bullshit. Anyone who believes in it has just been taken in by a scam by a global organisation that they're too small-minded to question, and all the 'treatments' are pure quackery. There's a much simpler explanation for people with 'autism': they're possessed by demons and they need a series of exorcisms with holy water to extricate Beelzebub's flagitious minions!

Now there is peace in the Middle East, I want to go on a hiking holiday. Can anyone recommend a nice way to get from the river to the sea.

"If you're happy and you know it clap your hands." Jesus wasn't happy about being crucified.

Three jews were on a business conference call. The first said to the second "I need to borrow 10k from you for a new business idea" the second said "you're breaking up, I can't hear you" So he repeated his request. The second said "still can't hear you!" The third guy chipped in and said "I can hear him fine" The second said. "well you lend him 10k then"

How come Muslims hate gays and don't eat Pork Yet they all love a bloke who's called mo-ham-head Boom!