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darker

4 years ago-Sex and Shit-Pulling-Post Rating : 27

A young dolphin, having just watched two blue whales humping, was thinking about the facts of life and how the whales got together in the first place. He turned to his mum and said “Mum, how did you and dad meet ?” “Son” she said “We were following a fishing boat scavenging dead fish and your dad and I collided as we went for the same dead tuna fish. He backed off and let me have the tuna, it was very gallant of him” “What happened next Mum” “We just clicked son”.

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Freshly Dug from the Graveyard

Why did Machado give Trump her Nobel Peace Prize medal? Because nothing screams "peace" like handing your hard-earned award to the guy who once suggested invading Venezuela—now if he accidentally starts a war over it, at least he'll have a shiny excuse to melt down into bullets. "See? It's for freedom... or whatever."

mandylost

2 hours ago

What goes up and down and smells of piss? The lift in a retirement home.

johnnysins

5 hours ago

Fuck me, the death count for the Manchester Arena bombing is much higher than I thought it was. Although I do wonder if Salman Abedi was really the only person to have committed suicide at that event.

hadoken

5 hours ago

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says: "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies: "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

rory

7 hours ago

Q. Who's the best Jewish cook? A. Hitler.

redneon

23 hours ago

Fresh Hell's Feedback (Comments)

risco Old,childish and typical of this shitshow!

1 hours ago - View Post

mandylost They're not there to actually fight, they're there to represent the UK and NATO. Any attack on Greenland by the orange Mussolini will count as an attack on NATO.

2 hours ago - View Post

mrsniggerbaiter Finally you post something that's actually a joke instead of just being a little bitch.

3 hours ago - View Post

newagenazi orage you in agreement?

7 hours ago - View Post

lennyscrevasse Wrong again dograpist, keep digging through

22 hours ago - View Post

risco What?

yesterday - View Post

Comedy Kill Count (Leaderboard)

sphinctered

Rank : 1 | Score : 52.20

rory

Rank : 2 | Score : 25.90

redneon

Rank : 3 | Score : 24.50

ponga

Rank : 4 | Score : 24.40

hadoken

Rank : 5 | Score : 23.54

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