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ironass

3 years ago-In The News-Breaking News-Post Rating : 37

Got chatting to a real stunner of a girl in the pub. We discussed the Ukraine situation and what Putin might do if Europe intervened. I said he would probably nuke us and we'd only have 20 minutes warning. She asked me what I would do if that happened. I answered, "Shag the arse off of anything that moved. What about you?" She replied, "Stand very, very, still"

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Freshly Dug from the Graveyard

In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15. In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95. In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75. Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

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My wife came out of the kitchen and said, "Do you want seconds?" I said, "Seconds, I didn't want fucking firsts."

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I mistook Molly Mae for Bonnie Blue on Prime. Never have I been so disappointed in Jeff Bezos as I am now.

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The pain in Spain comes mainly from the train.

niggerfarage

11 hours ago

Fresh Hell's Feedback (Comments)

bobby24 Need some Viagra to help that fucking ancient joke?

8 hours ago - View Post

redneon nice one

16 hours ago - View Post

bigbubba Made a note in my diary on the way over. It simply says "bugger"

2 days ago - View Post

gmax FFS, another infant school playground unfunny post. What is it at playtime? "Join on with my gang"

2 days ago - View Post

apemansacuntwithav Good for you….

3 days ago - View Post

zinger549 Moses called. He wants his joke back

3 days ago - View Post

Comedy Kill Count (Leaderboard)

sphinctered

Rank : 1 | Score : 46.90

rahul

Rank : 2 | Score : 38.28

johnnysins

Rank : 3 | Score : 36.70

scorpiox666

Rank : 4 | Score : 34.80

rory

Rank : 5 | Score : 32.00

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