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randypecker

8 years ago-Sex and Shit-Fingering-Post Rating : 2

I was reading an article on Autoerotic Asphyxiation and thought I'd give it a try. I climbed in a wardrobe and tied a belt round my neck and on the top rail, then I set about spanking the monkey furiously. I lost my footing and passed out. Next thing I knew was this blinding light and a guy with a white beard standing over me. I said "are you Saint Peter". He said "no. Im the Homebase manager, now fuck off out of my store".

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Freshly Dug from the Graveyard

In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15. In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95. In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75. Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

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A friend of mine survived a fall from 20,000 feet out of a plane, it was when he hit the ground that killed him.

gemerald

7 hours ago

My wife came out of the kitchen and said, "Do you want seconds?" I said, "Seconds, I didn't want fucking firsts."

stash

8 hours ago

I mistook Molly Mae for Bonnie Blue on Prime. Never have I been so disappointed in Jeff Bezos as I am now.

pinky

10 hours ago

The pain in Spain comes mainly from the train.

niggerfarage

12 hours ago

Fresh Hell's Feedback (Comments)

bobby24 Need some Viagra to help that fucking ancient joke?

9 hours ago - View Post

redneon nice one

17 hours ago - View Post

bigbubba Made a note in my diary on the way over. It simply says "bugger"

2 days ago - View Post

gmax FFS, another infant school playground unfunny post. What is it at playtime? "Join on with my gang"

2 days ago - View Post

apemansacuntwithav Good for you….

3 days ago - View Post

zinger549 Moses called. He wants his joke back

3 days ago - View Post

Comedy Kill Count (Leaderboard)

sphinctered

Rank : 1 | Score : 46.90

rahul

Rank : 2 | Score : 38.28

johnnysins

Rank : 3 | Score : 36.70

scorpiox666

Rank : 4 | Score : 34.80

rory

Rank : 5 | Score : 32.00

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