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essjay1

7 years ago-Sex and Shit-Disgusting-Post Rating : -4

A guy is out on the lash with his mates and gets very pissed. By the time he staggers home he's covered in puke and to make things worse, his wife is waiting for him to give him a bollocking. The next week he's out again with his mates, but is avoiding the booze. One of his mates asks why, so he explains what happened when he got home after the last night out. His mate has a tried and trusted idea: "When it happens again, make sure you have twenty quid in your shirt pocket so you can tell your wife that someone else puked on you and put the money in there for the dry cleaning!" Armed with this brilliant suggestion, he proceeds to get completely pissed. Some hours later he falls through the front door, again, covered in puke. His wife freaks. He slurs, "It wasn't me! A guy puked on me! He gave me twenty quid for the cleaning, check my pocket!" His wife looks in his shirt pocket and says, "There's forty quid here." The guy replies, "Yeah, he shat in my pants too."

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Freshly Dug from the Graveyard

In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15. In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95. In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75. Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

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Fresh Hell's Feedback (Comments)

bobby24 Need some Viagra to help that fucking ancient joke?

13 hours ago - View Post

redneon nice one

21 hours ago - View Post

bigbubba Made a note in my diary on the way over. It simply says "bugger"

2 days ago - View Post

gmax FFS, another infant school playground unfunny post. What is it at playtime? "Join on with my gang"

3 days ago - View Post

apemansacuntwithav Good for you….

3 days ago - View Post

zinger549 Moses called. He wants his joke back

3 days ago - View Post

Comedy Kill Count (Leaderboard)

sphinctered

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Rank : 2 | Score : 38.28

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Rank : 3 | Score : 36.70

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Rank : 4 | Score : 34.80

rory

Rank : 5 | Score : 32.00

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