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After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it ! ************************8 Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.! ************************ The wife's been hinting she wants something black and lacy for her birthday. So, I've got her a pair of football boots! ************************ Growing up with a dyslexic father had its advantages. Whenever he caught me swearing, he used to wash my mouth out with soup. ***********************! My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm! *********************** Anyone got an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's giving off a terrible whining noise! ************************ My wife apologised for the first time ever today. She said she's sorry she ever married me!
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