Sickipedia

The Queen is visiting a mental home and as they drive through the grounds she says to Phil the Greek. "Oh Philip, what beautiful gardens." As she exits the car next to the main entrance, she spots a man tending a flower bed. She says " Excuse me young man, who is the head gardener here?" " Well maam, I suppose I am, as I'm the only gardener here" He answered. Clearly surprised the Queen said "Really, you did all this alone, could you get Buckingham Palace looking as good as this?" "Yes, in a matter of weeks maam" "Then you should come and work for me, I will pay you double what you earn here" Looking excited the man replies " I'd love to maam but I am actually an inmate here." "My wife had an affair with her doctor and between them and her solicitor brother, they managed to get me wrongly committed" Thinking on her feet, the Queen said "Don't worry, I have considerable power, I will get you released and you shall come and work for me" " Thank you maam, I won't let you down" Several hours later, after touring the facilities, the Queen emerges. Just as she is about to get into the car, a pair of pruning shears hits her squarely on the head. " What the FUCK" she says and turns around quickly to see the gardener wagging his finger at her. "YOU WON'T FORGET WILL YA ? "