Sickipedia

Nicholas Parsons has died.... Sale of the Cemetary!!

Fuel prices. War in Ukraine. Industrial action. Social depravation. 12 years of Tory rule. With all this negativity, we need to remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Oh hang on.. It's been turned off due to the rising cost of electricity.

I got home this evening to find my drain pipe was broken and hanging at an angle. I was guttered.

Bury Springer! Bury! Bury! Bury!

Dismal weather in London today for the Coronation of King Chaz. Good to see he's got his hat on ready for the reign.

Sylvio Berlusgonni

Just spoke to a mate in Swindon who has been hiding in his garden shed for the last 24 hours after hearing part of the Russian army were trundling along the M4. On telling him of his mistake he was relieved. "Who told you that? " I asked "Some Wagner down the road" he replied

Was sad to see Elton John's final performance last night but I was shocked at how slow he walked across the stage. I guess that's due to too much candle in the ring.

The cost of living crisis is becoming unbearable. My local prostitute, Mynjita, has raised her prices due to infellation.

People are worried about storm Babette thundering into northern Britain tomorrow. Pathetic! I'd be more worried about Southern Israel right now.. There's Hamasive storm brewing there!