Sickipedia

An variation on an old classic, especially for dear old Quenten. Quenten and Ducky Dennis have been on holiday in Scotland. They picked up two lovely young men. Ben Doone, and Phil McCrevice.

I'm looking forward to the canine derby at Molineux today. Wolves v Terriers.

Rattler had a little lamb, He wrapped it in a parcel, He took it out on Christmas Day, And fucked it up the ars'ull.

Is there any news of the five hundred Indians who were clinging onto the outside of the rocket when it crashed ?

I forked out two grand for a trip on the Orient Express for me and my wife Val. I know the railways are in a state these days, but we didn't expect to travel to Venice on a replacement bus service.

I went out for a drink with my wife last night. We had a most convivial evening, only had two drinks, got home sober. Went to bed. That's equally as funny as using any word and adding " ed " to the end of it. I'm getting pissed with these jokes. Bollocks ! You've got me at it now.

The body of VG Siddhartha, India's coffee magnate ( ? ) and founder of India's coffee shop chain Cafe Coffee day, has been found on the bank of a river in Bangalore. A police spokesman said " He didn't suffer, it was instant. "

It is reckoned you are safer if you use a condom. That's crap. My mate's life was ruined by one. Mind you, it was up his arse full of cocaine, whilst in the x-ray scanner at Bangkok airport.

If Carlsberg did beer...... That would be a first.

If the new James Bond was a woman, would she have an Octopussy ?