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ticktock75

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I went to a christening the other day and the priest said there was a car in the bible. Apparently all the disciples were in one accord. I'll get my coat...

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I wonder if Han Solo had a much cooler brother named Drum.

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ticktock75

11 months ago-Racism-Black

There was a blackout in my street, earlier. Fortunately the police got him before he burgled anyone

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ticktock75

11 months ago-Other-Dad Jokes

I've noticed that people who wear jogging bottoms are usually the least likely to actually jog...

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Binfluencer (noun): Person who puts the right bin out on the right day, letting everyone else on the street know which bin to take out. Particularly useful over Christmas and New Year when no one knows what day it is.

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I heard that Dire Straits are looking for a new agent to represent them in the middle east. They should check out Qatar George. He knows all the Kurds,

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I wondered why my head was getting smaller. Then I realised I'd picked up the potato peeler instead of my comb!

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So is Camilla officially a Quilf now? Asking for a friend.

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I once rubbed Rachel Riley's fanny really gently. Stroke of genius.

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How is my tin of so called 'Scottish shortbread' actually Scottish...? To my knowlege it has never worn a kilt, eaten haggis, watched Billy Connoly or been impersonated by Mike Myers..!!

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