Sickipedia

My wife is getting tired of this isolation thing. All she does is look through the picture window wondering when it will all be over. I feel so sorry for her because of this isolation thing and I can hardly wait until it's over, so I can let her back into the house.

Birth. What the hell is this?!?! Death.

The richest 10% own 50% of all the wealth. The dumbest 10% own 50% of all the toilet paper.

It's not how often we fall, it's how often we get back up again. Sir, that's not how alcohol tests work. Get in the police car!

"Anything men can do, I can do bleeding!" "Really? Women can get a to-women sex change operation?" Happy world women's day, everybody!

"Anything men can do, I can do bleeding!" "Really? I didn't know bleeding women can produce Y chromosomes"

People are leaving China in droves. Everybody was kung flu flighting...

Prince Andrew not to be welcome at a church service? Were they afraid he would start with "Remember when we all met at ..."

Wife asked for a new watch. Told her there’s a reason they put a watch in the stove. Things escalated quickly.

The only way to stop a bad guy with a narwhal tusk is a good guy with a narwhal tusk...