Sickipedia

Optimism is the belief that an MMA Champion can beat possibly the worlds best defensive boxer in a boxing match purely by being a mad cunt

It makes me laugh when I see all these sheep queuing up for the new iPhone. What kind of idiot dashes out to buy the same old tired product just because it's had a new number slapped onto it? And the suckers are still prepared to pay full price! Anyway, I'm off to pre-order my copy of FIFA 18

Little Timmy walks into his parents bedroom and sees his parents going at it Dad chuckles and says "sorry you seen that son" But Timmy runs out of the room in disgust. about 10 minutes later dad gets dressed and goes looking for Timmy to talk to him. He goes into his sons room and screeches in horror as he sees his son balls deep in his grandmother Timmy turns to his dad and says "Not so funny when it's your mother is it??"

How does a baby look when you microwave it? I don't know because I tend to keep my eyes closed when I masturbate

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer the other's a watermelon

When you're having sex with a baby how can you tell if it's had an orgasm? You can hear it's spine snap

"hey everyone welcome to the Simon says club.. Everyone please have a seat" *sigh* "Looks like we've some work to do"

How do you make a baby float? One scoop of ice-cream and two scoops of dead baby

What do you get when you put a baby in a box full of razor blades and kick it down the stairs? An errection

So I recently discovered my family is incredibly racist. I started dating an Asian girl recently and decided to bring her home to meet the family? The kids won't even speak to her and the wife told me to pack up my shit and leave.