Sickipedia

Seeing all these comments about "lighting farts" makes me wonder when the Gary Haggarty memes will be back!

A teacher asks 3 children what their fathers do. Adam says "my dads a baker", Simon says "my dads a bookmaker" and Abdul says "my dads a chiropodist". Ok says the teacher, tomorrow I want you to spell out your dads profession and bring a sample of their work. The next day the teacher asks Adam about his father, "He's a B-A-K-E-R" spells Adam and gives everyone a doughnut as an example of his work. Now you Simon says the teacher, "My Dad is a B-O-O-K-M-A-K-E-R" says Simon, "and do you have an example of his work" asks the teacher. "yes sir, my dad says odds 2 to 1 that the Paki can't spell chiropodist"

"Doctor, doctor I feel like..." "Oh he's gone!"

Francis Lee dead! Who will present Bo' Selecta!?

I was always told that if I felt nervous when speaking to an audience to picture them naked. Thing is this really turned me on and I couldn't help myself. And that is why I am no longer a primary school teacher.

My peroxide blonde hair dresser wife has committed suicide, police phoned to to say they found her body at the bottom of Bleachy Head.

A man eats a Bat in Wuhan and causes a queue outside Asda in Leeds. I propose The Butterfly Effect be renamed The Bat Effect.

Non contact Greeting

Went to an away match today, the opposing fans seemed friendly, one said would I like to meet his mate Stan Lee? Well I don't know what happened but having woken up in hospital with 30 stitches I have decided I will not be buying any more of that twats comics!

Went to an away match today, the opposing fans seemed friendly, one said would I like to meet his mate Stan Lee? Well I don't know what happened but having woken up in hospital with 30 stitches I have decided I will not be buying any more of that twats comics!