Sickipedia

The Government has announced it's purchasing 12 nuclear ordinance carrying F35 A jets. These will be operational as soon as the RAF can find a dozen black lesbians to pilot them.

A Ford Galaxy wasn't the only thing to have crashed in Liverpool on the day of the Victory Parade. Shortly after the website for the local branch of Injury Lawyers 4 U did too.

Here's hoping the burnt and blistered Belmarsh screws makeover Axel Rudakabana's cell with a noose. Then he can emulate that other famous Welsh choirboy by "walking in the air".

I've been trying to find out if the visiting Israeli President Isaac Herzog has someone picking his turds up, like Putin, Kim Jong Un and my cat does

I went for a job at Chanel's perfume warehouse. I was scent packing.

I was walking past Old Trafford this morning and noticed a Season Ticket had been nailed to the gate. I thought, I'm having that. You never know when you'll need a nail.

Just got back home after a round of Chinese golf. Or, as they call it, Ho Lin Huan

Rachel Reeves in desperate bid to outcry all the spacka's about to lose their PIP entitlements

Jeni Talwarts. I went to school with her. She changed her name to Bonnie Blue. Nod to Chum

According to BBC News "Israel says it has full control over Tehran's skies." So that will make a matching set with the American President