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smilex

Member since 7 years ago

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About Me

Rumour has it that there’s a funny joke somewhere on Sickipedia. Who knows? It could be in here.

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beanflicker

member since 5 years ago

smilex

8 years ago-Sex and Shit-Women-Post Rating : 0

My wife had a go at me asking how come if a man has sex with a lot of women, he's a legend yet if a woman has sex with a lot of men, she's a slut. I told her if a lock gets opened by a lot of keys, its a fucking shit lock, but if a key opens a lot of locks it's a master key.

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8 years ago-Crime-Abduction-Post Rating : 1

My next song is about Madeleine McCann, Take it away...

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8 years ago-Other-Professions-Post Rating : 2

My wife asked me for help when she was doing a crossword. "Office profession, 9 letters beginning with 'S'" she said. "Male or female?" I replied. "What bloody difference does that make?" she shrieked. "Solicitor if it's male", I replied, "secretary if it's female".

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8 years ago-Sex and Shit-Ex Girlfriend-Post Rating : 1

I passed my ex in the street and gave her one of those horrible looks. I threw acid in her face.

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8 years ago-Crime-Piracy-Post Rating : 1

What do you call a Somalian pirate? A Niggarrrr.

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8 years ago-Sex and Shit-Rohypnol-Post Rating : 2

Drugs are for mugs. Except rohypnol, that's for wine glasses.

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"Well, well, what have we got here?" said a cop, sneeringly, whilst pointing towards my cannabis sativa in my cupboard. I told him it was a plant.

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8 years ago-Crime-Piracy-Post Rating : 1

Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrr.

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8 years ago-Illness and Mortality-Fatties-Post Rating : -1

Adele is that fat that when she fell down the stairs, I thought Eastenders was ending.

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8 years ago-Other-Feminist-Post Rating : 3

Why don't feminists play hide and seek? Because nobody will look for them

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