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Just seen a pensioner in the local supermarket car park collecting trolleys He must have been pushing 80
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I'm off to the cinema to watch a film about Eddie Stobart. I've seen the trailer, it looks good.
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I had the chance to sail the world's smallest boat but I bottled it
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My new girlfriend saw me putting washing powder on the shelves at our local supermarket. She said, "You told me you were a stunt pilot." "No I didn't," I replied, "I told you I was a member of the aerial display team."
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Meaningless statistics are up 14% today
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I lost my virginity to a retard I wanted the 1st time to be special
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I got a new job at the wheel factory I'm their spokesman
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Me and my friends are having a competition between us who can steal the most from our local pet shop This week I managed to take the lead
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I'm in the morgue for dancing
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Just donated £40 for Children In Need I'm still awaiting my delivery
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Do not repost from all time top list.
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Metaposts are not allowed. If you've something to ask then please go to forum.
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No posting personal information.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Meta posts are not allowed, however you can contact admin or a moderator.
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Promoting false information
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