Sickipedia

Perce Morgan has just interviewed George MIchaele's Boy friend? He asked him how he keeps Georges memory alive? "Well ,every night before i go to bed ,i make a curry. I then, put two spoons of Georges ashes in it and mix them in. I then eat it and go to bed? In the morning when i fart and it dribbles out of my Ass ,it's just like old times"! he replied!

NEWS FLASH! TRUMP HAS LOAD SHOT IN HIM! HE'II HAVE TO GET USED TO THAT,WHEN HE IS IN PRISON?

TRUMPS WIFE HAS JUST RELEASED A NEW SINGLE? IT'S AN OLD CHER HIT! BANG! BANG!,I SHOT MY BABY DOWN, BANG! BANG!

NEWS FLASH! AN OLD FRANK SINATRA HIT HAS BEEN REWRITTEN FOR BIDENS ELECTION CAMPAIN! IT GOES AS FOLLOWS: "FLY HIM TO THE MOON,LET HIM PLAY AMOUNST THE STARS!" HE DOES'NT REALLY KNOW,IF HE'S ON JUPITER OR MARS?

KATIE PRICE WALKS INTO A BAR. BARMAN SAYS, "YES MADAM, CAN I HELP YOU?" "CAN YOU RECOMMEND A COCKTAIL?"ASKED KATIE. THE BARMAN THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT THEN REPLIED,"HARVEY WALLBANGER ALRIGHT?" "YES THANKS," SHE REPLIED, "HE'S AT HOME TUCKED UP IN BED. NOW, HOW ABOUT THE COCKTAIL?"

NEWS FLASH! DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN SHOT! THERE IS NO TRUTH,HOWEVER IN THE RUMOUR,THAT MARK CHAPMAN WAS OUT ON DAY RELEASE?

WHAT'S WHITE, STINKS OF TOBACO,AND PUT'S THE WILLIS UP YOUR KID'S? JIMI SAVILLES GHOST!

Donald Trump has just released his new slogan: EAR WE GO! EAR WE GO! EAR WE GO!

Q: What has Holly Willoughby and Little Jack Horner got in common? A: They both ended up with a plum!