Sickipedia

My wife kicked me out because of my obsession with poker. I'm sure shes gonna miss me though now she hasn't got a full house

I've recently opened up a working mans club in liverpool. It's been 4 weeks and I havent had a single customer

The protected need to be protected from the unprotected by forcing the unprotected to use the protection that didn't protect the protected! SCIENCE MOTHERFUCKER, DONT QUESTION IT

I really enjoyed watching Emma raducanu win the tennis. There were some great strokes. Until my wife told me to put my cock away

The baby who was pictured on the nirvana nevermind album, who is suing for sexual exploitation has got a point...I've wanked off over that album cover loads of times

I just made a Venetian blind. Gouged the fuckers eyes out

How many scousers can you fit in a mini? 100 = 2 in the front, 2 in the back and 96 in the fucking ashtray

My schizophrenic mate keeps having a voice in his head telling him to do really dumb shit It's called 'the science'

Gwyneth Paltrow's company is being sued after man claims that her 'vagina' scented candle exploded on him. To be fair, he probably shouldn't have been fucking it

As if the covid regulations couldnt get any more ridiculous! We will soon be allowed to hug and kiss and meet indoors.....but strictly no dancing at weddings! This virus is very strange the way it operates, it wont get you if you're hugging and kissing indoors but if you break out into a dance at a wedding, make no mistake, you're fucked!