Sickipedia

Why is it that everyone who goes camping in a white tent dies?

My wife told me to record 'Dunblane 25 years on' an asked if I knew what it was about. "It's about a PE lesson that went off with a bang" I replied. Now I apparently have to sleep in the spare room

I couldn't be gay, Because I respect men. And I don't fuck things I respect.

So it turns out that some of the Police have got that fed up with handing out fines for breaking lockdown restrictions that they are taking the Law into their own hands, Then disposing of it on the common. What I want to know is has this replaced the current fining system or is it for repeated offenders.

So the Tokyo Olympics opening ceremony director has been sacked for making a joke about the holocaust. 70+ years ago and some people still can't take a joke, Anyone would think that Japan had something to do with it............

The wife was in abit of a frantic state earlier and I asked what the issue was? She said "I don't know if I'm coming or going" To which I replied "You must be going, cause when you're Cumming you look like a stroke victim trying to whistle"

Manchester United played against Young Boys Wankdorf Stadium tonight and lost to a fergie time winner..... So they should run the headline AT THE WANKdorf stadium, young boys smashing one in fergie time to the dismay of ole.... or maybe something less specific

Government advice

Always knew he was a pedophile

What's the difference between a chick pea and a lentil? I've never had a lentil on my face. Dad jokes