Sickipedia

A friend sat me down today and broke the news that he's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It's made me very sad, because I know it's just the first of many times I'll have to listen to him breaking that news.

I got a Josef Fritzl action figure for Christmas, along with an assortment of smaller action figures, because as it says on the box: comes with his own kids.

Daeshing through the crowds In a one horse open truck Maiming as you go Giving not a fuck Lots of ugly scenes At the new year sales Down in New Orleans Everybody wails Oh, Islamists, Islamists Give us all a break Stick to fucking nine year olds And goats for goodness sake Oh, Islamists, Islamists Go back whence you came Don't blame us that you're fucked up Mohammed is to blame

If you're going to mock someone with stubble for identifying as a woman, in the interests of fairness you should also mock Stephen Yaxley-Lennon for identifying as someone with a less posh name.

Money can't buy you happiness. Unless you're a French trans man with a strong accent.

Dubai. Don't steal. We'll cut your hands off.

Justin's past his wel by date. How much of a smug prick do you have to be to earn the title "arch" bishop?

Met a Muslim girl. Only nine, but delighted that she's already a bride to be. She's the substitute for when bride 2A's pelvis cracks.

I might do a bit of sex tourism next year now that the assisted dying bill has legalised youth in Asia.

Arabs. Even the way they read is backwards.