Sickipedia

Chloe Green, daughter of fat fuck Philip Green, desperately wants the police to find the culprit of the Tottenham shootings, so that she can marry him.

The funeral of thieving pikey scum Henry Vincent has been organised for May the turd. Highly appropriate.

I think this Michael McIntyre moped robbery situation is disgusting. This is getting completely out of hand. They’re actually referring to him as a comedian now.

Idris Elba has had to pull out of the running to be the next James Bond as he has been booked for the lead role in the upcoming film about the latest Westminster terror attack.

I think Idris Elba must have got the James Bond role. I’ve just seen him swinging on an Aston Martin tyre.

I met Leah Cambridge in the surgery waiting room. She told the whole room a joke but nobody laughed. It’s fair to say that she died on her arse.

Katie Price has been arrested for drink driving. I bet she was blind drunk on Harvey wallbangers.

It looks like Leicester City’s hopes of winning the title ever again have crashed and burned.

That Leicester City owner must be crazy letting Glenn Hoddle fly his helicopter.

I’m not sure how this rapper named ‘Cadet’ died, but I know he was on his way to a Staffordshire University. Maybe he just Keeled over.