Sickipedia

I'd been teaching myself the trumpet for 6 months before i dislocated my jaw. Apparently, you're supposed to blow through the other end.

In a bid to regain Jewish supporters, Jeremy Corbyn decided to have a circumcision. Unfortunately the operation wasn't a success. The surgeon was quoted as saying, "I'm afraid I can't carry out the procedure as there appears to be no end to this prick."

Well it looks like soon the leftist politically correct lot will have the country in the palm of their hands The writing is on the wall. Don't tell them that, they'll probably deface it.

You can go your own way Lindsey buckingham.

I had a terrible dream last night. I dreamt that my wife and Rachel Riley were fighting and my wife was winning!

I'm not going to make any jokes about Kim Kardashian's body...But. And its a BIG BUT!

Americans keep the washing machine in the bathroom. Bloody stupid idea. I had one in my bathroom. I put my pants in, pulled the chain and I never saw them again!

The Amazon screen saver slideshow was playing on my TV last night when this weird rock covered in hieroglyphics came on. I thought, "I wonder what it is." Thanks to the wonders of modern smartphone technology, l was able to find out. I pulled this app up and pointed it towards the screen. It said it was a 48" Panasonic Television.

As they enter the final furlong through central London, black night is in the lead, followed by bloody mess. Only 4 more sleeping policemen to take as bloody mess comes along the inside, oh black night loses it at the bus stop and bloody mess takes the lead as they head down the mall.

I see the Japanese navy are still hiring kamikaze pilots.