Sickipedia

"Do you find your partner suffers from vaginal dryness following the menopause?" "Not mine. She's been wetter than ever for the last few weeks"

I was on a Teams meeting with the rest of my mortgage advising colleagues the other week. "How's everyone coping with their workload at present? asked my boss. "I'm drowning, I'm drowning" shouted someone on the call. Give it a rest, we are all busy.

What's long, white, thick and dead stiff at the end? The queue to see the Queen's coffin.

Queen and Adam Lambert to perform at Jubilee concert. Funny how her mobility issues are forgotten when it's an event she can actually be bothered attending.

BBC: NZ's Conway out of T20 World Cup final after punching bat Serves them right for starting the pandemic

The average age of the England squad at EURO 2020 was 25.2 - meaning the average age will be around 26.6 at the next major tournament they are involved in. The average age of the Scotland squad at EURO 2020 was 27.3 - meaning the average age will be around 74 at the next major tournament they are involved in.

I'm not saying this linesman is slow to put his flag up in the Italy v Belgium game, but he's just flagged Paolo Rossi offside.

BBC: Ex-hospital porter abused boys over 35 years. Or "Men" as I believe they are called at that age.

James Corden has slammed plans for a European Super League as the 'worst greed he has ever seen' Having seen him at an 'all you can eat' buffet, I can confirm he's wrong.

BBC: Fishmongers' Hall terror attack victim 'had chalk-white' face I guarantee you can't say the same about the terrorist.