Sickipedia

Johnny Depp is getting ready for his next film after his trial with Amber Heard reaches its' end. "Close Encounters Of the Turd Kind"

My cousin Bill went for an IQ test. The next day, I see him with a big smile on his face. So I ask him, "you did well in that test then?" He says, "Sure did, got 78 out of 100".

I've found a way to avoid any future wars and have endless economic growth and job creation. All world leaders will settle their squabbles in a monthly pay-per-view wrestling arena.

In light of the latest school shooting, America have reverted back to their national motto: "Keep arms and carry on"

James Acaster is like a poorly-designed Android that is running on corrupted software

I had a go at my mate for being smelly. It was a de-odour rant

The Police have recently beaten down Starmer's door and interrogated him for info about "Beergate" "So Sir, despite claiming to be a man of the people, you are a multimillionaire. Any comments?"

Autistic girls must be a riot in bed. "Mmm. Do you like that Amy?" "Yes". "Do you like it when I play with you like that Amy?" "Yes." "Do you want me to bend you over and stir your breakfast?" "Yes."

Just been sacked from my job for playing video games at work. I said "I can work from home, so why not game at work?" But in all fairness, doing a presentation that ended in running over pedestrians in GTA didn't help.

My hot date and I were in the pub. She said she could "drink me under the table". So I got my cock out.