Sickipedia

I see that the comedian Gary Delaney is married to "Comedienne" Sarah Millican, which technically makes his cock the funniest thing that's ever came out of her mouth

I sent a DNA sample off to ancestry.com. Sadly they returned the sock to me saying it was a saliva sample that they required

Helmet cameras.. Great views for watching F1 racing, not so good for gay porn I guess.

Graffiti artist Banksy, he must be the only man who's sprayed more shit on a wall than Bobby Sands

I've just been watching some womens boxing, one of the ladies came onto her period during the fight so they threw the towel in

I bet there's a florist in Balmoral rubbing his hands together at the moment

I see the Cure recently played at an AIDS benefit concert. I bet there were a few dissapointed people there after reading the poster.

Asda have started selling elephants foreskins, they say its their biggest rollback ever

This Indian Covid variant is so bad It's wiped out half the staff at my local takeaway. Next week in memory of them, the menu will contain Naan Dead, Papa Gone and Chicken Bury Auntie.

I met an Irish bird with a speech impediment and she whispered to me that if I dressed as her fantasy figure and acted out something he was famous for I could fuck her all night, so I went and buried some dead kids on Saddleworth Moor ,I came back and told her what I'd done and she said "you cunt I said Liam Brady"