Sickipedia

My team beat Everton today. Mind you, Marco Silva, now that's a Toffee i would'nt mind a long hard suck on. Ooooooh.

When i was a schoolboy which was a very longtime ago, I had this brilliant maths teacher. He used to make me stay behind after class, take me into the storeroom and show me how forty seven can go into thirteen. Ooooooh.

Ducky Dennis said to me, "Oh Quenty Quins, you are wasting so much money on cigarettes, why not pack them in". I replied, "I don't think so darling, you know i enjoy a good puff and a suck on a Fag". Ooooooh.

The local hospital have returned the face masks i made for them. They said the masks were unpractical because they're made from leather and the orange gag ball serves no purpose. Ooooooooh.

Ducky Dennis and I did a bit of sightseeing in an old church. we were the only ones there so he started running shouting "Oooooh, chase me, chase". so i did and after a while i eventually caught him by the organ. Oooooooh

When i was a fashion design student i did'nt have a gap year. However i ended up with a gaping rear. Ooooooooh

Whisky makes you frisky Brandy makes you randy Gin makes you sin. No need for me to have ginger beer. Ooooooh.

I ran home sceaming. "Ooooh Dennis I've just been duffed up by a big gang of rufty tuftys" Dennis asked "Ooooh Quinten, how did it happen"? So i told him that i walked passed them, in the pub, wearing my very tight leather shorts and one of them shouted to me. "Oi gayboy, how the fuck do you get in them"? and i replied "Buy me a sweet sherry Ducky, that usually does the trick". Oooooooh.

I always failed my English exams at school. Apparently it was my improper use of my Colon. Oooooooh.

Good on June Brown I'd would love to live up to 95 years of age sucking on 60 fags. Oooooooh