Sickipedia

Just a thought, i'm on my 8th pint in the pub and the wife phones. "If your not home in half hour I'm locking you out". Is she really locking me out, or locking herself in?

Just got an email from Booking.com It says I'm now a genius member. Not sure whether this is a compliment or an insult.

Dean Saunders is about to find it a lot harder to "Refuse to take a specimin"

My grandad always used to say "Out with the old, in with the new". Brilliant grandad, shit antiques dealer.

Good tip if you've had 10 pints and got work in the morning. Go to bed with a reel and some floats. You will wake up at 5am and think your going fishing.

Really bad news for the Scots today. You've only got 2 months left in Europe

At last, some good news for Scotland, you'll soon be out of Europe

It looks like Scotland will be leaving Europe in more ways than they expected

After all the hype from Nicola Sturgeon, it looks like Scotland will be the first to leave Europe after todays draw.

This is a true undocumented fact. My great grandad Carl was on board the Titanic. When it was sinking he grabbed the nearest drinks trolley, jumped overboard, spent 7 days drifting at sea, landed on a desert island, and spent the rest of his days shagging native women. If Carl's Berg did cruises.