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Sir Tony Blair has briefed Donald Trump on how to rebuild Gaza when the war ends. Flammable cladding, it is.
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Ellie Goldstein, the first Strictly Come Dancing star with Down syndrome, submits her playlist... You Need To Calm Down Don't Bring Me Down I Won't Back Down Down On The Corner Slow Down Down Under Down Down Down
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Jewish comedians have their stand-up shows axed from Edinburgh Fringe venues as bar staff 'feel unsafe'. Is it because they don't tip?
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Sir Elton John set to lead performances at Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez's $20M Venice wedding in Venice. Just how many times can he change the fucking 'Candle in The Wind' lyrics.
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Sadiq Khan brands Trump 'Islamophobic' after the US President trashed his 'terrible' record at the UN and claimed capital risks 'Sharia law'. Khan says Trump should receive 60 lashes of the whip.
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Trump told Putin he'd bomb the fuck out of Moscow if he attacked Ukraine and warned President Xi he'd launch strikes on Beijing if he invaded Taiwan. Now that's how you win the Nobel Peace Prize.
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Trump suggested dwarves shouldn't be air traffic controllers. I suggest anyone who's never read a book shouldn't be president.
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Thames Water boss says too much rain is to blame for the significant rise in sewage leaks. I disagree. I think it was too much shit.
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Two women aged in their 90s and 80s died after a stolen BMW crashed into a care home. That's taking assisted dying to a new level.
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