Sickipedia

What do you call a Black American Muslim Woman?Pretty much anything- its still bound to get voted up.

A man goes into hospital for an operation and the next day he is in the recoverery ward with the doctor.The doctor says; "I have some good news and some bad news about your operation".The man says; "Give me the bad news first".So the doctor tells him; "We had to give you two blood transfusions during your operation, one was black blood and the other was paki blood"."Shit!" Says the man. "What"s the good news?""Your cock is three inches longer and your top of the housing list!" replied the doctor.

If God created the top half of a woman, who created the bottom half?Council workers - who else would put a play area next to a shithole!!!

Johnny had a swearing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask a shrink what to do. The shrink said that since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him and if Johnny swore he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift. So two days before Christmas Johnny"s dad asked Johnny what he wanted. Johnny said, "I want a fucking teddy-bear laying right fucking here beside me when I fucking wake-up Christmas morning. Then when I go downstairs I want to see a fucking train going around the fucking tree, and when I go outside I want to see a fucking bike leaning up against the fucking garage."On Christmas morning Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog shit. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a bunch of dog shit around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage. When he walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, "So Johnny, what did Santa bring you this year?" Johnny replied, "I think I got a fucking dog but I can"t find the bastard?.

skirts at Fox News today will be lowered to half-mast

My scouser cousin"s girlfriend had a baby today. They"re so proud of him. He"s the only one in the family who"s been inside for less than nine months.

Chad took his dog to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I"m afraid I"m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog"s tail." The vet stepped back, "Chad, why should I do such a terrible thing?" Chad replied, "Because my mother-in-law"s arriving tomorrow, and I don"t want anything to make her think she is welcome."

Tom and George are going hunting. Tom says to George, "I"ll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren"t any ducks out there, I"m not going hunting." So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Tom says, "Well I"m not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there." George says, "You"re going to take the dog"s barks for the truth?" George doesn"t believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, "I don"t believe it where did you get that dog? There really are only two ducks out there!" Tom says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too." So George goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Tom has. The breeder obliges and George brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it"s mouth and starts humping George"s leg. Outraged, George takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!" The breeder asks what the dog did. So George tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in its mouth and started humping his leg. The breeder says, "George, all he was trying to tell you was that there are more fucking ducks out there than you can shake a stick at!"

When are a mother-in-law and a beer both at their best?When they"re cold,on a table and opened up.

Some people say they don"t understand the mentality of suicide bombers.But if I couldn"t drink, and every woman I saw was covered from head to toe, I"d be queuing up to strap a bomb on.