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My wife asked, " Do you want me to shave downstairs? "Too right, I'm not carrying 3 bin liners full down 3 flights of stairs with my back!"
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I bet the folks in Norfolk can't wait to meet those outside their bubble and brag about how much sex they've been having.
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2021, 28 and bust. I'm fucking shit at blackjack!
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Another benefit of being on the dole is you're never going to come home from work to catch your wife shagging the postman.
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Chinese fortune cookies would be taken a lot more seriously if they read, "You're going to get the shits tomorrow"
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Free delivery tip. Wear a balaclava and zig zag through the streets with the item. Once the police have finished questioning you at the station ask to be taken back to the delivery address.
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I bought a 3D printer, printed it then sent it back.
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I got sacked from the GB hurdling team. They asked me to clear my desk but I had nothing to prove to them!
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"Hurry up, I've got a turtles head poking out my arse!" Isn't the wisest thing to say to Australians customs officers.
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I got sacked from the GB hurdling team. They asked me to clear my desk but I had nothing to prove to them!
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