Sickipedia

Patricia Routledge has kicked the Hyacinth Bucket..

George Foreman's family have found a gravestone so good, they put his name on it.

The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain... And Valencia.

How long until Shadow comes out and says he was raped by John Anderson?

After the successful recovery of Jay Slater's body in Spain, Portugese police on the Madeleine McCann case have gone out to check in the bushes.

What's got 100 legs and chases children? A centipedo ............................................................ What's got a thousand legs and chases children? 500 Refugees

It's a young teacher's 1st day at a school in Johannesburg and she decides to do a quiz to see where her students are up to: "Okay class, can anyone tell me what the capital of Peru is"? "Yes miss" replies one student, "It's Lima". "Very good", she says. "Now, can anyone tell me what onomatopoeia is"? "Yes miss" replies another, "It's a word that describes a sound like, woof or moo, or splash". "Excellent", she says. "Now, can anyone here tell me what symmetry is"? The kids look puzzled until one puts his hand up and shouts, "Miss, Miss! I can, I can! It's where they bury dead people"!

Doctors have found a number of unpleasant growths during a routine medical on King Charles... His fingers.

Paddy & Mick win £100 million on the Euromillions. They're walking along, 50million each in the bank and Mick says: "Bejesus Paddy, I'm starving"! "Me too" says Paddy. "Sure, we'll go into the Greggs there". Says Mick. They go in and Mick buys them a sausage roll each. They're walking along, eating their sausage rolls and they see a car showroom and go in. "How much are the Bugatti's"? Mick says to the salesman. "They're £2.5 million", he replies. "Ah go on, give us two", says Mick. Paddy stops him and says, "Don't worry Mick, I'll get these. You got the sausage rolls"...

For whom the bell dingles...