Sickipedia

It's that time of year when you get in the car, start the engine, then scream "FUCK" "FUCK" "FUCK" over and over til you are warm again.

The flat earth society is very proud to have members from all around the globe.

I don't understand why it really hurts if you accidentally bite your tongue but does not hurt if you bite it on purpose. I don't understand why everybody reading this is biting their tongue.

Me: (licking lips) I'm very nervous, I haven't made a bungee jump before. Instructor : do not lick my lips again.

Vitamin C is Spanish for vitamin yes.

For a long time my uncle drove a hearse for a job, then he had a career change and became a taxi driver. One day a customer sitting in the back seat tapped him on the shoulder to ask him something, my uncle screamed.

If I project an image of the super moon on to one of my testicles it is too small to cover the other one. Is this normal?

When I project an image of the super moon on to my left breast my nipple appears in the sea of tranquility marking the very spot when the apollo mission touched down, a bizarre coincidence, or is it? When I move the image on a horizontal plain to my right breast my nipple marks a slightly different place on the Moon surface which again is quite surprising yet at the same time disturbing. I know it was a perfect horizontal plain cos I used that theodolite app on my phone. I will carefully plot the position and it must be the place where Stretch Armstrong buried the treasure. I will submit my findings to NASA in an email and I will be on the one show very soon. I'm on the way up, now is my time to shine :)

I went to church this morning to beg for forgiveness for all my sins but fuck it, they're all much worse than me.

Do my farts contain my DNA?