Sickipedia

Aim for the stars! But do remember to first take care of the bodyguards.

When someone says, "you are the last person on my list I would want to hurt", there are two things to consider. They already have a list, and you are on it.

Irony... Hollywood speaks out against sexual abuse of women, but they never mentioned the abused males demonstrating that buggering young male actors is still condoned as an accepted form of recreation .

The best wedding speech goof up, ever. The best man was to include the bible verse 1 John 4:18 in his speech. 1 John 4:18- "Fear is not in charity: but perfect charity casteth out fear, because fear hath pain. And he that feareth, is not perfected in charity. " On the big day he accidentally read out John 4:18. John 4:18 - "For thou hast had five husbands: and he whom thou now hast, is not thy husband. This thou hast said truly. "

It has been said that a thousand monkeys banging on a thousand typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to social media, we know this is not true.

The Lone Ranger is captured by redskins, then taken back to the camp. The chief says, we have heard of you honorable white warrior, so shall allow you one request a day as we will kill you in three days time. The Ranger says, let me talk so my horse which the chief allows. He whistles, and Silver comes to him. He proceeds to whisper into Silver's ear, then the horse runs off at speed. Two hours later Silver returns with a stunning blond on his back. She dismounts, then enters the Ranger's tent where she stays for the night. The following morning the chief enters the tent after the woman has left. "We shall still kill you in two days, so make today's request." Again the Ranger asks to see his horse, and same as before he whispers onto Silver's ear, and the horse runs off, later to return with a beautiful brunette who dismounts, and enters the Rangers tent for the night. The following morning the chief comes to see the Ranger. Tomorrow we kill you, make today's request. "I want to talk to Silver alone! The chief agrees, and has the Ranger tied to a tree just outside the camp to stop him escaping, and where he can still be seen. Silver approached the tree, and the Ranger says... "Listen you stupid nag...I said fetch posse"

"You can Telemann by where he likes to live. I just Toch a trip Orff into one of the Wilder areas Faure Wieck, and to be Verdi Franck, it nearly drove Menotti. I know opinion Varese, but even Vivaldi urban noises, the Bizet traffic, De Falla engines, as well as knowing there are Mennin the streets Callas enough to knock your Bloch off. I couldn't resist the urge to Galuppi home early Satie, and I Haieff to say I Still prefer the Mitropoulos. The Boyce were Sor that I had Gibbons up and succumbed to the Riegger of the Field so easily, but I don't give a Schuetz. I was practically Krein from my Severacs and Pains brought on by that brief time in the countryside! Even the sounds got my Dandrieu up; let me Liszt some of them: the Rorem of the wind, a constant Birtwhistle, the Menuhin of the Katz, the Lipatti-Patti-Glinka-Poulenc of the Reiner on the roof, the Gluck-Gluck of the hens, and every morning a woodpecker or some Byrd Chopin holes in a Tree. My only company was a Thorne Busch, a Partch of poison Ives, a Braun Babbit, and sometimes a Wolf, nothing Moore. For a Forrest Grainger it may be Fine - it may be the Katz Milhaud -- but I could have died of Borodin. A friend suggested my making this Tureck; "Abegg" his pardon, but I will never go Bach to those Gotterdaemmerung Hillis. They Suk! No, I don't care for the Ruggles life. I like a good Mehul - - a little Suppe, some Szigeti, maybe some Salome at my local Taverner with a little lime Schubert after"

I am currently watching my neighbor's wife through the wall with this new thermal imaging scope. She's hot!

My woman likes to be tied up, and to have clay thrown at her. I suspect she's playdough-masochistic.

The singer Cliff Richard has been suffering from much online abuse. He’s got himself some spying, talking, tweeting, stalking, living trolls.