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noog

Member since 8 years ago

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I was fucking myself up the arse earlier when I let out a huge fart. It really brought the vibe down.

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Three brothers in my town all had a sex-change. That took some balls.

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What small puffs of wind smell like shit? Elton John's burps.

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An old lady went to the dentist. She sat in the chair, lowered her bloomers and raised her legs. The dentist said, "Excuse me Madam I'm not a gynaecologist." "I know," said the old lady. "I want you to take my husband's teeth out.”

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I was halfway through a superb wank earlier and thought "I shouldn't be doing this". The lollipop lady agreed.

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noog

8 years ago-Sex and Shit-Rape

I'm having regular sex with a blind woman. The sex is great but it isn't easy getting her husband’s voice right.

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How do you get Americans to join a World War? Tell them it's nearly finished.

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I asked my Welsh friend how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but he fell asleep.

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59

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noog

8 years ago-Crime-Murder

My wife's pubic hair is like parsley. I push it to the side before I start eating.

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I'm worried something might be wrong with my testicles. One seems bigger than the others.

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