Sickipedia

Responding to concerns for the welfare of elderly and vulnerable people in freezing weather conditions, Keir Starmer demonstrated his characteristic empathy and compassion today stating he "I am pledging £120 million for an emergency rebuild of Paris Hilton's Hollywood Hills mansion, because fuck you and your old Nanna"

McDonalds have issued a statement refuting Kamala Harris's claims that she once worked for them during her student years ...... Story checks out to me: typical black, can't get a minimum wage job then wants to make it the white man's fault.

If Liam Payne's passing has taught us anything, it's that even if Cheryl Cole lets you nut inside her a few times, when the post-nut clarity kicks in you'll still do absolutely anything to get away from her shit, godawful personality & music..

Stephen Lawrence's body is being returned to the UK from Jamaica apparently ..... Infortunately not the first time UK customs has had to deal with an unwanted, funky-smelling package that the blacks just refuse to grow out of...

Top tip for Huw Edwards & future nonces in the festering BBC maggotpile: watch & download whatever perverted content you want. Just tell the cops you accidentally picked up my laptop off the IT guys. I always write my name underneath it in black marker. Louis Walsh is borrowing it next week apparently... Sincerely, Jimmy S.

George Galloway always looks like he's playing dress-up as an Orthodox Jew which is even more bizarre given how balls deep he's into the Rochdale Paki community. He couldn't look any more out of place if he dressed as a deodorant or a bar of soap.

Following video released showing an armed officer seemingly kicking and stamping on an Asian suspect, Chief Constable Stephen Watson responded this evening explaining his decision to suspend the officer pending an IOPC enquiry: " When I sign off on one my officers carrying a firearm, I damn well expect them to use it on these inbred, flipflop-wearing cousin-marriers when they get the chance, not fuck around with little fairy kicks, for fucks sake!"

That video of that Paki getting kicked in the head at Manchester Airports' Terminal 2 brought back so many traumatic memories of how unfair life is .............. Reminded me of when I got back from Ibiza, rang an Uber driven by one of these inbred, foul-smelling paedo bastards who tried charging £40 for a £30 fare.

Addressing the attempted assassination of Donald Trump, Joe Biden stated in a press conference today, "There's no place in America for this". Obviously the senile old goat hasn't been around any American classrooms in a long time.

I think Diane Abbott really gets a raw deal from that time she wore odd, mismatched shoes on Election Day. I genuinely don't think she should be blamed or laughed at for this... Everyone knows these blacks steal all their right shoes at Footlocker, it's in their DNA.