Sickipedia

There's been accusation of someone throwing rubbish onto the pitch at Manchester United. A Mr Mourinho is due in court in the morning

I was treated for my obsession with the band Free I'm all right now.

If there's one thing I've learned from this site is that if anyone comments on your joke they're usually a cunt.

When Freddie Mercury was asked how many cakes he wanted to bake he answered, I want to bake 3. It's strange but it's choux.

It's a little known fact that during the second world war as the German Enigma machine was being cracked, Alan Turings sister Kay provided the sandwiches, cocktail sausages, drinks and cakes.

With all the procedures now on entering a supermarket make it more interesting by pretending you're starting a timed stage of the Lombard RAC rally.

Nothing can fuck with your emotions more than when you're told in the doctor's room your Thai wife of 10 years has been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer.

My builder neighbour has been telling me his work has dried up and things are getting so desperate he's been forced to seek help from the local support centre. So far he's been given 3 RSJ's and 10 Acrow props.

St. Atue The patron saint of standing still for long periods of time.

My mate said he didn't understand what cloning was. I said that makes two of us.