Sickipedia

Been using Lynx Black now for a month and already I have abandoned my family, burgled 4 houses and stabbed all my rape victims

Police find a black hanging from a tree. He has 27 stab wounds, has been set fire too, shot in the heart 6 times, has he's legs cut off and he's eyes gauged out. Police say it's the worst suicide they have ever seen

Just been in the local supermarket, said to the cashier "I see you have a special on" she replied with "no, that's just Simon pushing the trolleys"

Think optimum prime needs more driving lessons

Just been laid off from my new job cos I have dyslexia. I was making stuff for a tv show for disabled children and read the script wrong. I thought it said use sticky black spastic

Went to a fast food stop on the side of the road last night and asked for a hamburger and a hotdog, The woman behind the counter goes to the freezer and picks up a quarter pounder and puts it in her armpit. I said "what the fuck are you doing?" She replies "the warmth of my armpit helps defrost the burger" I replied with "ok but cancel the hotdog"

Met this black guy who just got out of prison. He did a 10 year stretch cos he was riding a bike with no lights. Judge said he was lucky, if he had lights on he would have got life

Girl aged 11 dies on rapids at drayton manor And they say water is good for you

Remember, It's not rape if you yell surprise first

Rape? I prefer the term "struggle snuggle"