Sickipedia

I asked the doctor where I should put my pants during my prostate examination. “Over there next to mine!" was not the answer I was expecting.

I think my coworkers must be gay. Every time I walk past them, I hear them mutter, “What an ass.”

Isn't it weird when sometimes you're thinking about someone and then they suddenly appear? Anyway, my dad just caught me masturbating…

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Madrid. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

BREAKING NEWS - "All Olympics athletes test positive for Coronavirus" President of the International Olympic Committee Thomas Bach and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe both in agreement that the 2020 Tokyo Olympics are still on schedule!

I went to the bathroom at a restaurant today and was extra careful. I washed my hands, opened the door with my elbow, I raised the toilet seat with my foot, I switched on the water faucet with a tissue then opened the bathroom door to leave with my elbow and when I returned to my table I realized.... I forgot to pull up my pants.

I read that, " A Hindu group hosted a cow urine drinking party on Saturday as they believe it wards off the coronavirus, as many Hindus consider the cow sacred and some drink cow urine believing it has medicinal properties." Bad news people, I already tried and drinking Budweiser doesn't help!

Flash forward to 2025 when the corona virus pandemic is finally over. A child asks, ”How did mommy die, daddy?” The misty eyed father replied, ”She was shot trying to buy toilet paper.”

Member playing, "You've got the cooties!!!"? We were waaaaay ahead of our time, weren't we?

Former teen actor Corey Feldman’s new documentary, "My Truth: The Rape of 2 Coreys" accuses Charlie Sheen of raping Corey Haim during the making of the 1986 movie Lucas. “He told me, ‘Charlie bent me over in between two trailers and put Crisco oil on my butt and raped me in broad daylight. Anybody could have walked by, anybody could have seen it.'” Crisco on his cock? Does this Sheen fool not know that Crisco is shortening?