Sickipedia

Robert De Niro is set to star in a Hollywood epic about the life of Wayne Rooney. It is called The Old Dear Hunter

Goal-line technology's nothing new to me. My wife's been asking me for years whether it was in or not.

My girlfriend's as fit as a fiddle, albeit one that's been passed around the whole band.

Taking a knee to commemorate George Floyd is a bit like paying your respects to David Carradine by having a wank

"Don't you hate it when you've got a stonking hard-on but you're stuck at work for several more hours?" "I meant do you have any questions about the job or today's interview"?

What do you call a Russian gender reassignment surgeon? Pulya Dickoff

How many trans activists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fifty. One to change it, 49 to tweet about what a hero they are.

I'm not saying England have exceeded expectations at this Euros, but they're still not out, and France, Portugal, Holland, and Cosby all are.

Having spent my long and lucky career in Hollywood, I am appalled by the conviction of Harvey Weinstein. This case of trial by public opinion has landed an innocent man in jail. As a woman who worked with him many times, I can attest that he was a total gentlemen and never once touched me or sexually approached me. Yours, Kathy Bates.

Despite losing the Wales job, those prison showers can still give Giggsy the chance to say "get stuck in lads".