Sickipedia

After being Croatian, Czech, German, Ukranian and Danish..the Scottish are now all Italian. They've had more nationalities than Shamina Begum

Arsenal donated 500,000 shirts to Haiti following the Earthquake The Haitians have returned them with a note: "We have no food, no money, no possessions no water and no homes...but we still have our dignity"

Manchester and the gvt have no reached an agreememt Now we must have a extended transition period were one side says lets get it sorted while the other whinges and demamds more negotiations that last forever

Why are people whinging over pickford and van dijk They've been telling people for months to take a knee

Man dies and goes to heaven. When he is getting the tour he see's a load of clocks with politicians names on, but the minute hands are all moving at different speeds He's asks Saint Peter: "What are these?" Saint Peter replies: "They tick everytime the politician on them lies" Fella replies: "Where is Boris Johnson's?" Saint Peter laughs, "His is in God's office. He's using it as a fan"

Did you hear about the vegetarian transgender He was a herbefore

Piers Morgan and tony blair airing their ideas about the ethics , morality and way to solve covid19.... What next? Childminding lessons with the McCanns

Due to needing more key workers....Irish hospitals have drafted in staff from Timpsons

Just seen a group of girls wearing short skirts amd knee high socks. So I shouted "Oi Oi! Get your tits out for the lads!" I was removed from the area...and I'm no longer allowed to take my niece to netball

Chelsea only signing is pulisic...who is american. Lampard once got fined for taking the piss out of 9/11 Can see it now "Christian, I want you fly down the wing and cut inside" "How do you mean boss?" "You know that turn the second plane made...just like that"